Walking

I just realized that I tend to take alot of pictures of me walking......... I think I need to stop waking around too much........ Either that, or stop taking pictures while walking........

Hyphen Tour 2012!

After a long 3 hour drive just to go a puny 60 miles or so plus taking time off work,  this event was actually quite a challenge for me to get through, but I’m glad that I did….

We were able to pre-register for the event by  going to the website…and let me just say, the registration was super simple…there's nothing that frustrates me more than a complex registration process…..seriously. It may be sad to admit, but I’d rather not go to some things due to the fact that the registration process was a mess…I know…it's sad.

But, Anyways!

Friday night opened with a variety of things but the thing that I loved the most was the topics that were discussed. The topics that night were about Dreams, Image, and Pain.

DREAMS: Bro. Miraflor—This topic alone could have had its own conference and still we would not have covered everything that could have been talked about. I guess, for me, as a twenty something year-old…at this point, its easy to get tired of the dreams that started growing during my teens years. BUT! That should not be the case since this is the age where we have more freedom and energy to actually work on our dreams. It really is easy to let go of our dreams due to tiredness or just the routines of life…but as Bro. Miraflor spoke on Friday…its NOT about OUR dream…it’s about the GOD of our dream.

If we are chasing after something without God, then we do not need to even go there….just that simple.

Something else that really stuck with me during the talk was the fact that how God used dreams to communicate with Joseph. In the two instances that was pointed out, Joseph was given a dream…. he listen to the dream…. and due to that, he was helping to fulfill prophecy! And not only did he listen to the dreams, BUT he listened to them even after they changed…. Don’t believe me? Read Matthew 2 yourself and then get back to me

IMAGE: Bro. Brown—Ahhhhh….Image…this little booger is QUITE the handful here…As some of you may or may not know, false image can lead to something horrible…and I know this from experience (see Here).  Bro. Brown spoke on how if our own self-image is not health, then we cant do God’s will very well since your self-image will limit how far you can go. If you don’t think that you have the ability to do something, you will not try to do that something…. that simple.

There really was is so much that I can say about this section, but the thing that REALLY stuck in my head was this: the Bible says that Satan is the accuser of the Brethren, BUT….if he is able to convince you to start accusing yourself of all your own faults…then he doesn’t even have to work anymore! We willing took on Satan’s job!! I think when I heard that, my brain melted a bit…. it was that profound to me….

PAIN: Dr. Littles—Pain… this is a topic that really makes since to address at our age. We aren’t really kids anymore, but I guess, we aren’t really full-fledged adults yet since we only have to really care for ourselves. But by this time in our lies, we have felt hurt…. some people are paralyzed by that hurt as well.

Toward the end of his teaching, Dr. Littles had himself get ‘roped’ in on the platform by tape. This was Life…. we may not like the area that we are roped in…we may feel suffocated in our position…. but God, allow us to stay in our box that you have placed us in. Allow us to become worshippers for you since all’s the angels can even do is tell you that you are Holy, Holy, Holy…we are the only ones that can give Glory, Glory, Glory to God. That is what we are created to do. 

Dr. Littles then asked if anyone would like to get prayed for….and he did. He literally prayed for every single person there…..and call me carnal, but I was listening to see if there was going to be any ‘repeat’ prayers….but there wasn’t….every single prayer was different for every single person….

After service that night….alot of the church went to the nearby In-and-Out….now, that alone is such a trivial fact that I normally wouldn’t mention that. BUT I wanted to say that I was approached by two separate groups of non-church people at different times asking me “ I just have to ask….where are you all coming from? You all are the nicest looking group of people that we have seen all night!”…..Seriously, this happened…. So remember, We are a light wherever we go, but ESPECIALLY when we are a group.

SEXUALITY--Saturday Morning opening Panel…Wow…people have some amazingly hard questions….I would NOT want to be in the shoes of the people that were on the panel since things from sexuality to relationships, to boundaries (and A LOT more) was touched on….The thing that sticks to me (and I wrote it down in the handy dandy books they gave us) was the advise that we need to Make our decisions to the best of our abilities in the context of our environment…..just ruminate on that for a few minutes…it’s amazing!

MONEY: Bro Johnson—Hmm….something that we are all interested in. especially since we are starting off with carrerrs that we HOPE will get us money. Bro Johnson spoke amazingly about his personal testimony from his carreer to his personal life. He had ‘success’ as the world defines success…and he was able to be a blessing in his job since he was putting God first….but since he put God first, he ‘gave it all up’ to work somewhere else.  

He said something that really stuck with me and it was along the lines of this: Sometimes, with peoples lives, we can only see the highlights, but we don’t see all the lows that built up to create those highs….Profound! Really…..

The Holy Ghost fell in such a sweet way in this session though….Are you really Trusting in God? Really, REALLY?? Give it all to God…Surrender!

Someone later said that out of all the tour stops, this was a first for the Spirit to fall in the money session…..Maybe us in California are just too money driven? Hahaha!

THEM: Bro. Nathaniel—The way that we need to reach our World is through both Discipleship and Evangelism. The difference of both of these is that Discipleship is done through institutionalism and often requires a specific skills set to be effective. Evangelism is done through Worship…and please note that we are all called to be worshippers…and ALSO please note, that ‘worshipping’ God should actually be done with our lives so that others can see God. So we have no excuse to not be Evangelizing in some way.

Bro. Nathaniel mentioned something amazing that really hit me (among other things…I seriously filled the whole notes page while he was talking) and that is: Not ONCE in Acts will we see people just sitting down after getting the Holy Ghost….They were always getting a Call to do SOMETHING with that same Holy Ghost….Work for God, Preach, SOMETHING! We are DESIGNED to spread the Word.

ANOTHER thing that really got me…..We have reduced God to Consumerism….We have come to God and have Consumed all the blessings that he has given us without giving back….And the World sees us do that…they see us as only consumers of God…That should not be…Don’t be treat God like the Tapatio of your life, where you sprinkle a little here and a little there to add that extra ‘Umph!’ to your taste…This will NOT impress the secular world since they know that Tapatio does not CHANGE your food into something else…its just adds to it….why do should they try our ‘add-in’ when there are so many other add-ins to try? They need to see an absolute CHANGED life.

I really could go on and on about this tour…but something I loved about this was the REALNESS of everything…from the people helping to put this tour on, to the speakers and topics that were addressed. I think that every single person that was either a speaker or a behind the scenes person, took time to go talk to us in the crowd… “ How do you like it? ……What do you do for a living?........THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING!” …..Especially the last one….Every single one of them thanked us for being there….Sincerely thanked us….Let me just say…Sincerity goes ALONG ways….it’s felt….Truly.

Sometimes I get weird..........

Sometimes, when I'm thinking alone in my head (most of the time I am alone........ But sometimes........ Dot dot dot) I think to myself "I'm going to become an all-black, sleek type of girl"........ And then I buy black clothes and find I just look like I'm attending a funeral instead of looking sleek and mysterious.

And then sometimes I think to myself "I'm going to turn hipster and wear cool vintage things!"......... And then I go to the Goodwill and pick out a hipster-ish bulky sweater and feel smug about my choice........ Until I get home and look in the mirror and decide that I look like a frumpy bag lady and why didn't the cashier try to wrestle the horrid thing from my fingers when I went to pay?!

And then sometimes I think to myself "I'm going to become a cutesy-girl and wear pastels and ruffles!"........ And then after going shopping in that one corner in Forever 21 and going home with my pastel clothes, I find out that I look washed out in pastels and too bulky to be cutesy........ And I wonder why WHY didn't the cashier try to wrestle the horrid thing from my fingers when I went to pay?!

So that leaves me with a closet full of a weird variety of clothes......... Which I actually have found to work perfectly for me since I still have those days when I want to be emo/hipster/cute........ So I just mix my clothes up and find what works for me.

Fighter

Image Courtesy http://www.flickr.com/photos/mzburn/. Please visit!

I’ve debated to myself if I wanted to talk about this subject since it’s one that is really easy to get sensitive about. But after some pondering on my part, I decided that I did indeed want to talk aboutit.

A lot of people don’t realize the workings of  the person that they see everyday……I don’t even know the workings of my own selfeven! So it was a bit shocking to me when a couple months ago, I fell into the toilet bowl of a deep depression. It was the worst thing that has happened tome so far in my young (?) life.

Humans have an ability to autopilot themselves,and this ability to do so is actually life saving…. especially to someone inthe throes of a debilitating depression. Without this autopilot mode, I would not have been able to function at all. But, due to autopilot mode I was able tofunction…eat…. sleep….work….church….

During this attack, I Literally shut down. I didn’t write….FB…..play cell phone games….. talk to people at work for fun……..After church activities went down to almost nothing…… eating…..cleaning…..everything…..

I have never really been a crier outside of a really good service in church, but this attack made me into one…..I wouldn’t besobbing or anything because that took too much strength that I didn’t have at the time…no, it was more like tears would just flow out at night….night time is the worse, because if you can keep your body busy, it’s easier to shut your brain off.

At one point, I was at such a low point that one of my friends was offering me ‘happy pills’….don’t worry…I didn’t take them.

No…I knew something had to give, and finally one Friday after work, I became so desperate that I literally lay out on the floorand started reading from Psalms. I had to do something, and no words were in my head to pray at this point…so what’s better than reading someone else’s convo with God?

Now, I have been raised a Christian practicallymy whole life, and I have NEVER had such an experience as the one that I’mabout to tell….my experiences with God have been during services or moves ofGod, but I have NEVER had the Word of God be such an ALIVE thing to me.Every.Single.Word that I read, was pertinent to ME….Every…Single…word….

Some may think that it’s due to where I was in mymind at that point…….Maybe?......but I honestly don’t think so…..

One thing I really LEARNED for the first time…..God is always there for us. If we cant find Him….don’t blame him…..blame yourself and change what you are doing.

Well….while I was reading Psalms, tears startedflowing…..I really can't say how long I was on my floor talking to God and reading…but it was hours……after that, I got out my journal, and for the first time in over a month, I wrote and wrote and wrote…..

“That relief was just the catharsis that comesafter crying” you might say……..really? Then why didn’t that “catharsis” come sooner? When I was crying all the other days? I don’t know…Well, I really DO know…but do YOU??

After all that writing and praying on that Friday, I went with a group of young people that next day to help out a mission in LA. Now at the mission, before they feed the people food, they preach aservice….now, the service that was preached literally hit on SO MUCH of what I had written the night before….maybe that’s why I wrote so much…so that I can have physical proof that my words were not just going unheard….I was able to go back and specifically mark what I had written with how it matched the preaching…..THAT alone was awesome to experience, But while I was thinking over the day that Saturday night, I was literally HIT OVER THE HEAD with an idea to try to do a kids program at that mission….Well….that Sunday, I reached out to my pastor, and he reached out to the mission’s pastor and found out that there was going to be a Back to School Block party held at the end of August…and that the person that was supposed to do something for the kids had fallen through so Sure! There’s an opening!

I’m not writing this to get sympathy…I’m writing this to show that through God, I am an overcomer…..I’m also writing this to let someone know, That the more you have to offer…Talents, abilities, support….the more you WILL be attacked to prevent you from doing God’s will….I’m not saying that I have a lot to offer…but I AM saying that I have a lot of willingness to work for good….if one by one, people are tricked that they are POWERLESS, soon you will have two people, then 5, then 34, then a whole multitude of people who have given up hope due to the attacks on their mind.

 

 

 

Sometimes...

Sometimes you're at the right place.......at the right time

Sometimes I dress like kids book characters (unintentionally)

Double Whammy

Sometimes it seems like God is really silent...But then there's those times where you get the ole 'Double Whammy'......

Friday, I talked with someone for awhile that had a Word for me....I don't even know if they realized that or not, but they definitely had a Word.

Something that was brought up in the conversation was something that I had never thought of before even after hearing the story over and over....the discussion was about how scary it is to step out when we can't see where the next step of ours will go. And the person brought up the story of Joshua and when he was becoming the leader of the Children of Israel after Moses had gone. The scripture says that "The Lord said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel, THAT THEY MAY KNOW THAT, as I was with Moses, SO I WILL BE WITH THEE"...And the Joshua proceeds to have the priests walk across the Jordan River which was overflowing it's banks!! Once the priests feet stepped into the water, the water rose up on one side and and the Children of Israel were able to pass over on dry ground. Here's the key point though: When the priests first stepped into the water, it hadn't become dry/passable ground yet! It was still the raging river! The ultimate 'Step of Faith', yes?

We humans like to see a pathway straight in front of us. You all know what it's like to be part of that experiment where you are blindfolded and you have a partner that is to lead you to a destination. No matter how trusted the partner is, the world becomes this huge scary place and lifting your foot in front of the other becomes a huge issue. But God works in the exact opposite way.....His way seems to be "Listen to what I have to say, and THEN if I see you making an initiative to do my will, THEN I will create the path." Those priests had to have been very full of Faith.

The other thing that hit me was today while I was teaching Sunday School I was showing the kids a compass and how it works....No matter where I point my body, it will always point in the Northern direction....The analogy was how the Bible is our compass in life, and no matter where I point my body, the compass (Bible) will only ever be directing me toward God....Now, whether I listen and actually turn my body/actions around is completely up to myself.....but the compass will always be there....pointing...and if I am heading in a direction that the compass is not pointing in, and I get in a disaster, I have no right to then raise my fist and rail at God for the consequences. Well.....Let's just say that while I was saying my lesson, I fell under conviction hahaha! The Word of God is quick and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sward, that's for sure!

The things that happen at Work

Me: So my AS400 Cross Programs menu stopped working for me yesterday so I had to call Tech Support and they took over my computer…. uninstalled the program and then reinstalled it and after that was completed he told me to go in and try it now and it STILL didn't work. And then that's when I realized I had accidentally turned off my FLock button. So all my "F" keys weren't working…


Friend: Jahahahahahaha!!!
lol
that's hilarious!


Me: When I told the computer tech what I realized he literally LOL'd and was like 'Oooh my god!' in his Indian accent

Later: I get the below email sent summing up the issue:

 
"This is an advisory email to inform you that your Incident IM13039235, has issues accessing a specific screen on AS400LS . , Restoral Text - Bp realized that the F lock key was active.
She unlocked it.
Issue resolved."

 
I felt quite stupid, but we all got a good laugh out of it.

Some thoughts, I guess....

I haven’t written in a really long time…not just on here, but also in my paper journal (which is rare because I write SOMETHING at least every other day)…..I guess there are times where everything feels like it needs to be commented on, and other times where the whole world is just a boring place and nothing seems exciting.

I guess to get my feet wet, I’ll just say some small things.

I recently found out that I REALLY dislike the comment “If you ever need someone to talk to just know that I’m here for you”….. I understand the underlying thought behind people saying this, I really do (I’ve even said this to people myself) …… they are worried about you…they want you to know that they are open to you talk to them, etc….this really gets my goat. Reason? Well….just because I know who I can and can’t talk to! Really…I know who will be the right person to talk to for certain subjects….and I PROMISE that if I wanted to tell you something, I definitely would….or at least would try. Really people, I know I can talk to you…I really do!

Enough on that!

Something cute that happened this Sunday…I was walking to my car to go to church and I see a little table at one of the intersections of the walking paths in my condo area, and there are little kids around it. Well, I knew they must have been selling something, so I checked my wallet to make sure I had cash in there (a very rare occurrence, let me tell ya!), and walked over there…..turns out they were selling Lemonade….for 50 Cents….so I bought 2 glasses (one for me and one for my friend)….OK…..let me just say it was practically straight lemon juice! As my friend and I were walking away, I muttered under my breath “Just pretend that you are drinking it!”

Well…….the fact that people bought TWO glasses so early in the morning must have REALLY excited the kids so I hear them yelling something like “WE NEED MORE LEMMMONNNSSS!” and then I see them wolf packing across the parking lot, climb up a fence, reach over…AND PROCEED TO PICK LEMONS FROM A NEIGHBORS LEMON TREE IN THEIR BACKYARD!!

Wow….I hope that I haven’t left a little imprint on these kid’s conscience that stealing things is rewarding.

And maybe you can tell why I just had to buy some lemon aid from the kid by the picture below....

Outfit Post: Asymmetrical

Jacket: Ross

Shirt: T J Maxx

Skirt: Buckle

Shoes: Ross

Conversations with my Coworker

Please keep in mind this particular coworker has English as his second language. This has led to some hilarious conversations in which I am notorious for "egging" on.....


H: People from Belize speaks Spanish with an English accent
Me: How does that sound? [ I was just thinking that he would mimic it]
H: Like Reggae to my ears. 


This was said in all seriousness and with that, he just continued working as if nothing out of the ordinary was stated.....


Well, I wasn't satisfied in letting him stop talking.....Reason: this person will go all day....seriously, ALL DAY long without saying one word to ANYONE...but then, sometimes he'll start spouting things left and right......Soooooo...I continued with the banter (?). This then somehow led the conversation to people from Malaysia....


H: And everywhere you go in Malaysia there are Robber trees.
Me: ROBBER trees?
H: Yes! Robber Trees.
Me: Is that where are the Robber's hide??
H: Nooooo! That is what everything is made of there.....Robber!


Apparently....RUBBER trees grow in Malaysia...and Rubber items are in abundance.


Something interesting I learned (Whether it's true or not, I can't say), but items such as cookies and crackers that are made in China are dipped in plastic to get that nice shiny layer....because apparently, dipping food in plastic is cheaper that basting them in sugar or butter......like I said, I don't know if that's true or not but that is a little tidbit that came from my coworker.

Science lab?

There's a horrible high pitched sound in my ears.... People keep coming and going..... There's a bright lighting shining hotly on my face.... Pain.... Pain in my jaw... Why must you probe so?... Have you discovered the secrets that has you invading my space?... Have the tears stopped flowing from my eyes in an attempt to be brave and just "hang on for one second more"? ... Why must I sign so many things? Am I giving away my unborn child?..... Why am in declined at such an unnatural angle?WHO DECIDED THAT GOING TO THE DENTIST WAS FOR OUR OWN GOOD?!? Feel my wrath!!!

DIY: Dino Spines

So, Since my friend's little girl loves dino's...and her birthday was on Saturday, I decided to try to be crafty and make something for the girlie....So I searched high and low on the internet looking desperately for something that an amateur like myself can recreate....And I came across these awesome looking Dino Hoodies that look semi- easy to do...and since I already have a lot of felt (from various other 'projects') all I needed was a sewing machine and a hoodie....

After asking my wonderful cube-mate if she knew of anyone that had one (she did....it was herself), I was off to the stores to find a hoodie....which I did in short time...I also found a little jean skirt which I bought with little leggings....this whole outfit comes from the fact that I am always threatening to turn the little girl into a mini-Diana hahahaha! (minus the dino hoodie...I think i would draw the line there....possibly....ok...maybe not).

Below is a step by step on how I accomplished the project:

1) Cut the felt into diamond shapes...or if you want to make life difficult, two triangles that you will have to sew the bases together.

2) Sew the diamonds in a straight line down the back of the hoodie. You will get something like this:

3) I then folded the diamonds in half and just hand-stitched them shut.

 4) And that was it! It took maybe an hour/ hour and half, but I'm sure if you were sewing the diamonds shut with a sewing machine, it could possible go faster.

Seeing Big Dinos…..at least it's not Pink Elephants

The other day I had a dream about dinosaurs. In this dream, myself and a friend or two were being chased by a T-Rex or some sort of big, carnivorous Dino. 

For some reason, I got it into my head that we should take refuge in this huge skeleton exhibit of a T-Rex that happened to be along the edge of a river. "Surely the Dino won't chase us if we are in the bones of his kind" was my thinking. So…. with much scrambling and haste we started climbing on the inside of the bones.

Well, the huge Dino continued to try to come at us. This led to my next great idea…."We need to cause this skeleton exhibit to tip over into the river so that we can get away by hiding our scent!". So we started provoking the huge Dino and were successful in tipping the exhibit over (with us inside of the ribcage), and we started swimming away.

We swam for as long as we could, because we knew that if we went up for air, our cover would be blown since the huge Dino would pick up our scent. And right before our air was gone from our lungs, scuba divers met us underwater and started putting goggles and breathing tubes on us. And then we continued swimming on and at that point I woke up. So I'm assuming I got away from the Huge Dino that was chasing me.

Well, I like to look up the meanings of dreams when they are vivid to me like this, so I Goggled it. Most of the meanings were pretty weird of course, like:

"To dream that you are being chased by a dinosaur indicates your fears of no longer being needed or useful. Alternatively, being chased by a dinosaur, may reflect old issues that are still coming back to haunt you"

Or

"To see a dinosaur in your dream symbolizes an outdated attitude. You may need to discard your old ways of thinking and habits."

And of course, anytime you look up something, you are either already dying (according to the internet) or extremely psychosis ridden (again, according to the internet).

Or…….the Dino dream MAY be attributed to the fact that you had spent the whole previous day looking up dinosaur crafts and gift ideas for someone…..phooeey on Dream interpretations!

Buying a Bible

Have any of you tried buying a Bible lately?

Let me just say that it's probably one of the most frustrating things that I've done for awhile....

I have a really nice study Bible that I enjoy the feel of, but I just don't like whipping it out at work when I'm on break or what-not since I feel like it's obviously a BIBLE...not that I'm against reading the Bible in public or anything...I just want to read in peace without people asking "Is that a Bible??" in a shocked tone. With my study Bible, it's pretty noticeable.....it's big, with gilt, and indent tabs separating the books of the Bible.

So, today, I decided to buy a small Bible that I can carry around in my purse, and kinda not have to treat it with kid gloves.

I went to Barnes and Nobles and they had nothing that looked appealing...Then I drove to the Christian bookstore we have here in town....and they had so many to choose from. The selection was almost ridiculous...a skateboarders Bible, Girls Bible, Appearance Bible, Boys Amour of God Bible, Comicbook Bible, Manga Bible, Princess Bible.....I promise, I'm not making these titles up!! And on top of all the different types of Bibles, you have to chose the Version Bible that you even want....and THAT was a pain...I would see a Bible that I thought looked and felt nice just to discover that it was the New America Language Bible, or some other version that when I read the verses I knew by heart, the verses didn't even sound close to the verses that I knew!

And let me just say this, Mr. Manufacturer-of-KJV-Bible's, that you really should come up with nicer Bibles than what you have already. Sure, the KJV's were nice Table Bibles....but Bibles with nice designs or colors other than Black or Brown were practically nonexistent!

I just felt the difference in KJV Bible versus the other versions of the Bible....and since I couldn't decide which I wanted, I got BOTH! One KJV, and one (discounted) ESV.....The ESV is the pink one and the KJV is the Green one....and let me just say, the green one is only the New Testament...would it have killed the manufacturers to have included the Old Testament with the Color cover??? I guess so....


Anyways, I can't wait to read and mark up my new Bibles....I haven't had a new Bible since 2001 so this is going to be fun!

Home again, Home again....

This week went by in a whirlwind.....On Wednesday Erica, Cara, Savannah and myself all flew out to Arkansas for the Mid American Youth Conference. Due to the fact that we spent very little of our time in sleep mode, most of the trip was passed in hilarious delirium. 

We went to service there, site see-d (is that the past tense of "Sitesee"?...maybe the word I'm looking for is Sitesaw? Nothing sounds correct right now) all over Little Rock...both intentionally and unintentionally.....now we three girls have so many inside jokes that I can't even remember them all....I do know one of the keywords for one of the inside jokes is "Tim Hawkins"....Poor Uncle Mike...he unsuspectingly said that keyword when he picked us up from the airport and had us in stitches.

The Craziness is starting......

This is a mill that was in the movie Gone with the Wind

Myself with the Cuzzo's!

A mural showing a church scene....Good ole Hoe-down apparently

On the trolley going around Little Rock

Pretty self-explanatory I think

Yes....this is a pretty normal face for me when tired

What's in there, Girls?? Oh..... bales of hay you say? How...Interesting.

Inside the Church

Outside the church

Im just fascinated with this sign from the airport....Apparently some dogs relieve themselves of flowers?

My poor feet with their sock imprint that I wore on the plane

There's is really too much that I can write, but the bottom line is that I had a really wonderful time.....and even though I'm physically drained, I am indeed refreshed and ready to go...it was a wonderful time!